Undying Love
by firequartz
Summary: Lily has a secret, she then tells the Marauders by accident, how will James react to this? What will Lily say when she finds out? Will James be able to get the love of his life, or will he have to help her before he can help himself? Please R&R...
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note A new story! Different from my other ones, might be a little disturbing to read as you go on...Some aspects are things that actually happened to me, so to vent them out, I created this story. Please not to many harsh flames! Hope you enjoy and please review, it would be nice to know what you thought of it.

Disclaimer I own nothing, which pains me to say this...

* * *

Lily entered the Gryffindor common room, she had just returned from home after Christmas, her friend Mia sat on the sofa, she waved over to Lily; she rushed over and sat down.

'Hey.' Mia said.

'Hey, how was your Christmas?'

'Good, Leo came over for a while, that is really all.'

Leo was Mia's older brother living abroad, and rarely came home. Mia had long black hair, blue eyes and potentially she could be very gorgeous, but like Lily, she never cared for make-up, boys or fashionable clothes.

'That's good, where is Cassie?'

'She is around somewhere; I swear you are the only person who can tell us apart.'

'I know you've told me a million times, as has she.'

Cassie was Mia's identical twin sister, who like Lily and Mia didn't dress up like all the other girls.

They were interrupted by a loud shout across the common room, Cassie was marching towards them.

'Lily!' she cried hugging her, Lily winced as she did and a sharp intake of breath was heard, Cassie suddenly released her.

'Sorry.' She whispered.

'Don't worry.' Lily said quietly 'I'm going to get into my pyjamas.' She said running up the stairs to her dorm, she got a long pair of bottoms and a top, and shoved on a baggy jumper over the top and went back downstairs, to find she was being blocked.

'Well look who we have here, it is our favourite bookworm.' Sirius sneered.

Lily ignored him and tried to get pass him, but another of his friends came to stand beside him.

'Please can you let me pass?' She whispered she felt sick as it was, she hated being cornered.

'Most girls want to be cornered by me.' Sirius said.

'I am not most girls, please Black; just let me go.' She said she felt her heart thumping wildly, pushing back memories she stood her ground, it was obvious that he wasn't going to move.

'What is your name?' the boy next to Black asked.

'Like you care.' She spat back, her knees were shaking, she tried to get Mia's or Cassie's attention, but they were both reading.

'Wormtail, I don't think she likes us.' Sirius said Lily turned round and ran over to the stairs back up to her own room. 'Coward.' She heard Sirius call. Lily ran into her bathroom, locking the door and pacing it, trying not to give in, but alas she did.

* * *

'Here.' Mia said at breakfast the next morning, handing her a newspaper, Lily took it and begun to read it. 

'We meet again.' Sirius said looking at her, but Lily was not listening she was occupied by the newspaper, as the twins were in reading their own books.

Lily had dark red hair, which was always a mess, she never tamed it, she hid her face behind it most of the time, so no one except Cassie and Mia really saw her face, and like the twins they wore rather baggy clothes.

'We'd better go.' Lily said to the other two folding the newspaper up, but Mia grabbed her arm, Lily screamed as she did so.

'What?' she asked Lily shook her head.

'Nothing your grip was rather tight that's all.' She muttered. Mia had grabbed her so she would help her up. She picked her books up not noticing the looks between the twins and the stares from their table, including the Marauders.

They walked quickly out, and to their first lesson, they sat at the front of the class as people filled in.

'Sorry I am late Professor.' James said walking in twenty minutes late.

'Mr Potter I will put you into detention if you continue in this matter.' Professor Slughorn said.

'Yes sir.' He said pulling a hand through his already messed up dark hair, some girls sighed at this; he walked to the back where his other friends were sitting.

'So what was the reason this time?' Sirius asked him.

'I slept in.' he said.

'I wanted to sleep in.' Sirius wailed loudly.

'Tough.' Professor Slughorn said 'Now kindly continue copying these notes down.'

A few girls giggled and James and Sirius felt rather smug about all of this, Remus on the other hand sighed at them and continued to write notes.

* * *

'Welcome back, I hope you have all had a great Christmas.' The Head Boy, David said at their prefect that evening. 'I want to know if there are any suggestions to the Valentine Ball, and if there are please put them past me or of course the lovely Sara.' 

'Very funny David, now if there any other general comments, problems or ideas please feel free to come and talk to us, that is all for tonight.' Sara said Lily walked out uncomfortably aware that Remus and James were behind her.

'I have no interest in what Padfoot has done now James, you two bicker like an old married couple, if you both hadn't slept with most of the girls in Hogwarts I would say you could get married.'

'Moony, you don't understand, he ran away from home, he is living with me, that's all I was saying, other than he is a stupid git.'

'I'll tell Sirius you said that.'

'Thanks Moony, really.'

Lily sped up, she hated them, well Remus was okay, but the rest were just a waste of space.

'And anyway we haven't slept with all the girls, Sirius told me that he met a girl yesterday, whom he had cornered, but she wasn't interested in him.'

'Yes Padfoot would say that.' Remus said 'I really have no interest in all of this you know.'

Lily smiled, but gasped when someone grabbed her.

'Evans can you tell me who this girl was?' James asked he looked at her, she quickly regained her composure.

'I have no idea, please can you let go of me?' she asked but James gripped harder, she screamed loudly, he released her, she rubbed her wrist on her skin, and then froze, she ran up to her room and to the bathroom where she continued to pace.

* * *

'How was the meeting?' Cassie asked as Lily came back downstairs to find they had returned from the library. 

'Same old.' She said shrugging and picking up a book and reading it.

'You lied to me Evans.' James said coming over to her.

'Drop it Potter.' Lily snarled.

'Well you should be touched that Padfoot stopped you, most girls…'

'I am not like those sluts you sleep with.' Lily said.

Cassie looked up from her book, watching the conversation with interest.

James looked at her and walked away, Lily continued to read.

'Lils, we are going to bed, see you in the morning.' Mia said.

'Yeah I'm just going to finish this essay.' She muttered, she had nearly finished it, but she liked the common room when it was nearly empty.

* * *

Lily sobbed into the sofa later on that evening once everybody had gone, she couldn't go up to the bathroom, she'd have to do it here. 

'Lily?' Remus asked coming through the portrait hole the rest of the Marauders following.

_Shit_ she thought caught in the act.

'What the hell are you doing?' Remus asked looking at her.

'Why do you care?' she asked dropping her wand and putting her head in her hands.

'Come with me.' He said picking her wand up and carrying her to his dorm.

'No, I will get into trouble.'

'You need help.' He said.

Lily lay on his bed, he looked at her and sighed shaking his head and trying to understand why as he looked at her arms.

* * *

A/N Well what did you think? What is Lily's secret and what will she do know the Marauders are interested in her? Review to find out as it will encourage me to write and post more.

Please not to many harsh flames, constructive criticism is very much welcomed.

Firequartz


	2. A Helping Hand

**Author's Note: **

Okay lots of you have emailed me to update, and I am so sorry I haven't sooner! I am working in Rome at the moment, and I actually live in London, so the whole internet issue is a little difficult as I can't update chapters. In case you are wondering, I have come home for the weekend, hence the update.

This isn't the best chapter, I do apologise, work is hectic, so it was a little rushed, you are probably thinking 'you had two months to write this!' I know I did, but like I said I am working! Please review, that is, if you remember me! I will try and update sooner! Enjoy...

* * *

Chapter 2 – A helping hand

'Why?' Remus asked picking on arm up and looking at it.

'Why not? She replied back pulling her sleeves down 'like you lot really care, only since I met Black the other day and he wouldn't leave me alone.'

Sirius looked at her, he didn't smile, he didn't make any sort of clever pass at her, he just looked at her, was it sorrow in his eyes?

'Lily, please?' Remus tried to reason.

'Look I am tired, I'm going to bed.' She said getting up picking her wand up and walking to the door.

James stood in her way between the door and her, she looked at him, loathing in her eyes.

'Potter move out of the way.' She asked.

'Why? It isn't as though you have been nice to my friends, and seeing as we caught you, you're not safe to be wandering around by yourself.' He said his arms crossed.

Lily panicked she was trapped, and James was rather tall, she flinched as he moved his hand to his hair, she took a step back from him, she hugged herself, trying to calm herself, but she couldn't, it started to happen, her breathing became sharp and shallow, tears fell down her face as she tried so hard to forget about it.

'Bloody hell.' A voice sounded from the doorway.

Cassie walked in, her sister Mia looked as though she'd been asleep, Lily ran to them.

'Can't you lot just leave her alone, and stop tormenting her?' Cassie spat at them.

'Too difficult Cass, they find something that looks interesting and pursue it until they find everything out, this is what they do.'

'True, come on Lils.' Cassie said pulling Lily out of the room; Mia gave them a death stare.

'You know Thayton; perhaps for once we were actually trying to help.' Sirius said.

'Help? You, the Marauders help? If you really want to help you can just leave the three of us alone, especially Lily.'

Mia walked out of the door and they to their room. Sometimes when one of the three girls was upset, they would push their beds together, so in this case Cass and Mia flicked their wands and the beds zoomed together and they all got into bed. Lily was in the middle, Mia had fallen asleep quickly, and Cass was talking to Lily, trying to calm her, and always succeeding.

* * *

'Morning.' Snape said happily as Lily sat down.

'Hey.' She said looking up from her newspaper.

'How are you, haven't really seen you in a while.'

'Christmas was like a week ago.' Lily said.

'Yeah but that doesn't count.'

'It so does.' Lily said.

'Fine, but I was wondering do you want me to help you with Potions prep again?'

'You know I'd love you too, I am so going to fail.'

'You won't and by next year you would have grasped the whole thing.'

'Next year is our last year; one would hope that you had grasped it.'

'So when do you want to meet?'

'Whenever suits you, I mean the only thing I have is prefect meetings.'

'Same and they are on a Monday, so what about Tuesday, as we get Potions prep on Monday.'

'You're brilliant, you know that?' Lily said.

'No.' Snape said do his mocking girly look and voice.

'Stop it.' Lily laughed.

'I made you laugh at least.'

'True.'

'Wouldn't be a good friends if I didn't make you laugh or smile every once in a while.'

'Um Sev, I need to talk to you sometime.' Lily said Cass and Mia looked up from their books.

'Sure what about.'

'Honestly Sev, even I know what she is talking about.' Mia said rolling her eyes.

'Oh, I get it, so shall the four of us meet by the tree down by the lake at lunch time?' Snape asked.

'Yes.' Cass and Mia said together.

'Okay well I'll see you then.'

'Wait.' Lily said calling after him.

Snape turned and saw Lily walking up to him, Lily placed her arms round his neck and hugged him; he was stunned, but then put his arms round her.

'Thank you, for everything.' She whispered to him.

'It's nothing.' He said pulling away and smiling at her as he walked over to the Slytherin table as Lily sat down.

'I swear you are going to get married.' Cassie said.

Lily froze when she said this, Cass continued 'I mean I know your just close, and I know you'll never really marry him.' Mia nudged her. 'Oh Lily, I am sorry.' She said.

Lily looked at her plate, she wiped her tears away from her face, though no one really saw them under her hair, but the twins knew.

'It's fine, just going to take some time to get used to.' She said.

'Absolutely hopeless.' Mia muttered at her sister as Lily returned to her newspaper.

'Like your any better.'

'Love you too.' She said sarcastically.

Cass smiled at her sister and the three girls sat in silence reading.

* * *

'So what is it you wanted to tell me?' Snape asked as they sat on the blanket that Lily has brought out.

'Well something happened at Christmas.' Lily said and reencountered it for Snape to hear.

'Oh Lils, I am so sorry to hear that.' He said hugging her, the twins looked at Lily and smiled comfortingly.

'I just thought you ought to know about it.'

'Well thank you for telling me.'

'You'd better get back.' Mia said looking at the Slytherins by the castle.

'Yeah, I'll see you later.' He said getting up after giving Lily a quick hug and walking away.

'I like him.' Cassie said.

'Why don't you go out with him then?' Lily asked her.

'Trust me, he isn't my type, no I just like him.'

Lily smiled and pressed her back up against the tree, she had a feeling she was being watched, she looked around, but no one was there, she shrugged and continued to read.

What she didn't know, is that the Marauders, who were under the invisibility cloak as they played pranks across the grounds, had heard every word that Lily had said to Snape and had frozen still listening to her sad story.

* * *

The twins sat in the library writing an essay, suddenly to two of them packed their stuff up and hurried along the corridor to their common room where they saw Lily sitting there, the Marauders crowded round her.

'Didn't you get the hint that when I said leave her alone I meant it?' Mia asked shoving them aside to get to Lily.

'Mia.' Lily whispered looking up at her, her hair was falling in front of her face, it looked almost dirty, not the colour Mia and Cassie had once seen it, illuminatingly red, people used to envy her, but now it looked a mess.

'Come on.' She said pulling her up and taking her hand, dumping her bag next to Cassie on the other side of the room.

'I think they know something, they saw me sitting there, they came over and then started talking to me, asking me how I felt, well I told them to bugger off, but they didn't listen and I just felt trapped…'

'It's okay, they'll get bored, and they always do.'

'How do those twins always seem to come when Lily is upset? It is like they are drawn to her.' James asked as Lily walked away with them.

'I don't know.' Remus said.

'Those three are like the most mysterious girls in the school, I don't ever think I have seen Evans's face, or seen the twins actually have fun, like run round and stuff. It's like there have some kind of force binding themselves to one another, in an unhappy trance.'

'You think a little too deeply Prongs.' Sirius said.

'At least I think.'

'Look I told you it is hard to think, I have tried.'

'Yeah don't try again, because you're becoming very trying.' James said.

Sirius gave him puppy dog eyes causing a girl to come over to him and sit on his lap, and play with his hair. Sirius shrugged at his friends as they walked off out of the portrait hole together.

'I hate him.' James muttered.

'Why?' Remus asked.

'Well he gets a girl.'

'I am sure that if you walked over there, those girls would be queuing up to be with you, but I would think there are more pressing matters.'

'Like what?'

'Lily.'

James's face dropped he looked over at her, he felt sick at the way he had treated her of late.

'You still really like her don't you?'

'Yes, but she wouldn't ever go out with me, remember I am a Marauder and so on and what not.'

'Then prove to her that you can change, stop sending her flowers every Valentine's day, quit the jokes, just stop all contact with her, then one day she'll come to you, when you least expect it.'

'Yeah but what she told Snape, and her arms, she needs help.'

'I think that Mia and Cassie have it all solved.'

'She is so amazing, not many people can tell the difference between identical twins.'

'Makes her more unique.' Remus said clapping his friend on the shoulder as he got up to go to bed.

'But what about Chris?' James asked.

'I don't think we should tell people about what we heard, we have to try and forget.'

James looked over at Lily, she looked vulnerable, but he thought that Chris was only one part of her many troubles, that lead her to do what she did, and her arms were living proof.

* * *

What he didn't know, is that when Lily went upstairs to bed, she paced the bathroom, giving in once again, she couldn't help it, and her friends couldn't help her.

* * *

**A/N: **

Okay so what did you think? I know it was bad, it was a little rushed I do apologise. Any ideas, tips, or anything will be taken into account, but please don't be too harsh. Remember this story was just a random idea, and wasn't exactly to be continued, so please be patient! I will promise to try and make the next chapter a) Longer b) Not as rushed c) Updated faster.

Please review and all reviews will be taken into account, as long as they are not too harsh!

Firequartz


	3. Valentine Ball

Author's Note 

You probably all hate me for not updating in such a long time, and I apologise. I've been really busy and life got a little hectic, and so on and so forth.

I hope you like this chapter, to be honest I didn't work on it as much as I would have liked too, but I promise to try and make the next chapter much better. Please understand that this story was only an idea, never to be continued.

Disclaimer: We all know that no one could replace the wonderful JK Rowling, and therefore anything you don't recognise is mine. The rest will always be hers.

* * *

Chapter 3 – Valentine Ball 

Lily sat down at the breakfast table the next morning; she looked over at the Marauders, who had obviously been watching her as Sirius coughed loudly, and picked up his fork and begun to eat his food off his plate, but he had already eaten it, Peter slapped him round the head.

'They know something.' Lily whispered to her friends.

'You're just being paranoid.' Cassie said not looking up from her book.

Lily looked at Mia who was watching her.

'Yes I have noticed their sudden interest in you, but you just have to ignore those immature boys.' She said 'actually Remus isn't that bad.' She said and then went back to her book.

The post owls came in dropping letters, to her surprised a letter dropped in front of her; Lily opened the envelope and pulled the letter out.

_Dear Lily, _

_Just a quick note to say, that your sister, Petunia is getting married in April, which will mean that you will be back in time for it. _

_We are missing you dreadfully and can't wait for you to return home._

_Father_

'Who is it from?' Mia asked looking at Lily who was staring at it.

'My father.' Mia looked at Cassie, Lily handed them the letter to read.

'Well at a first look it looks okay, but if you read between the lines…'

'Exactly.' Lily said placing her head in her hands 'I can't really cope for much longer.'

'Maybe Petunia's wedding might make you two closer.'

Lily snorted at this and picked her juice up, sipping it.

'Now what have you two done to make her look so down this morning?' Snape asked.

'When are we ever happy in the morning?' Cassie said. 'And why would we look happy?'

'Yeah early mornings, not the best then?' Snape asked.

'I just had a bad night's sleep.' Lily said.

Snape patted her on the back in a comforting way.

* * *

A couple of weeks had gone by, the Valentine Ball was approaching, but Mia, Cassie and Lily didn't really care, and all the girls, except three were all giggling in the corridors as boys walked by, discussing what they would go as, and so on.

Lily rolled her eyes when one girl asked her if she was going with Snape.

'Please you've got to be kidding right?' Lily had said not realising Snape and the twins were coming up to her. 'Snape is lovely, but the thing that you got wrong, is that I am not going to the ball, so me and Snape going together won't really work.'

The girl looked at her in disbelief 'you're not going to the ball?' she asked.

'No, why would I?'

'We all know James Potter has the hots for you.'

'Potter and I will never work two different people on the same planet, anything else you want to ask?' Lily asked.

'No.' the girl said.

Lily turned and saw her friends 'don't even ask, as if I didn't have better things to do on a Saturday night.' She said.

* * *

Unfortunately as Lily and Mia sat down at supper on the Friday evening Cassie came bounding up to them.

'Why are you looking so happy?' Mia asked her twin as she sat down.

Lily looked up from her book, she saw James looking at her in the corner of her eye, and the Marauders had recently been rather quiet in the pranking department and sat near the girls a lot.

'The guy in Hufflepuff just asked me to the ball.' She said. 'And I said I would go with him.'

'What?' Mia asked 'you never say yes to them.'

'Yeah well I like this guy, we have Herbology with him…but I don't know if I do want to go.'

'Basically what you want is for me and Mia to come to the ball with you so that if something happens we are there?'

'Yeah.' Cassie said.

'Fine.' Lily said.

The Marauders looked at James, as they heard that Lily was going, James had refused all the girls that had asked him, Sirius on the other hand accepted the prettiest, to go with him.

'I can't believe you two.' Mia said but they both saw her smile. 'As long as Lily wears my dress that our dear aunt gave me.'

'What? No I can't wear that.' Lily protested.

'Why?'

'Because it is like so revealing, and trust me, I am way fatter than you two.'

'And Voldemort is my best friend.' Mia said.

'He might be.' Lily said.

'Besides what else are you going to wear?'

Lily looked at her and then sighed nodding her head in agreement.

'I hate parties.' Lily muttered.

* * *

Saturday dawned bright and early, for some stupid reason Lily had agreed to go to the ball, wearing the most revealing dress and had been talked into having her hair down by their other dorm mate.

'Wow Lily, I never realised how beautiful you are.' Hannah said as she finished doing her hair and make-up.

'Well don't make it a habit of doing my hair, it was fine before.' She said Mia came in holding the silk midnight blue dress for Lily to wear whilst she herself wore a black dress, which was rather low, but compared to the one Lily was going to be wearing it looked respectable.

Cassie had curled her hair into ringlets, whilst Mia kept her hair in the same loose curls; both twins were very beautiful, with their dark hair. Lily's hair shone in that illuminating red that she had abandoned looking after, tumbling in loose curls, and her green eyes shone.

'Really?' Lily asked when Mia shoved the dress at her.

'It isn't as though you have any other dresses, our mother sends us dresses like there is no tomorrow, though we have no interest in them.'

'Can't I wear one of the other ones?'

'No Lily, you have to wear this.' Hannah said looking at the dress and pulling Lily's dressing gown off her, she slipped the dress over Lily's head. Mia had thankfully charmed her arms so no one could see what had happened, it looked like soft smooth skin.

Lily looked at herself in the mirror, the dress fell to the floor, it was low at the front and completely backless, she didn't see herself in the mirror, she saw her mother.

'You look gorgeous.' Hannah squealed.

Lily looked at Cassie; she was wearing a beautiful red dress which fell to the floor, showing her beautiful figure off, her blue eyes sparkled behind a curl, she looked so beautiful, Mia smiled at her sister.

'He will love you.' Lily said.

Cassie smiled and they walked down the stairs, thanking Hannah and into the Great Hall where Cassie spotted the guy, whose name was Patrick and went off.

'Just you and me.' Mia said linking arms with Lily.

* * *

'So Prongs what you going to do if Evans is there?' Sirius asked as they walked to the Great Hall.

'Why would Evans change anything?' he asked.

'Well you never turn down girls and the simple fact you cannot stop staring at her.' Remus said.

'I am pleased to see that my friends have such a great interest in what I do.'

'Only when you are not yourself.' Peter said.

'I am myself.'

'So explain why you keep staring at her.' Peter said.

James shook his head and they entered the Great Hall, girls looked at them as they walked by, some boys greeted them, it was then James saw two girls not interested in them, standing in a corner, that he knew that Lily Evans had come to the ball.

'Surprised to see you here Evans.' Sirius said coming up to the girls, Lily turned round, to look at him, Sirius stepped back into James.

Mia giggled at this, she knew the reason, no one had ever seen Lily like this, and to be honest she looked stunning, Lily turned back to her friend.

'Sorry.' She whispered through silent laughter.

'Would you like to dance with us?' Sirius said to them.

'I thought you already had a date Black.' Mia said.

'Which of course, is you.'

'I rather much doubt that, no go and pester someone your own size, how about those girls in the third year?' Mia said.

'I want to pester you two.' he said defiantly.

Lily shook her head at them, and grabbed Mia to get a drink.

'Honestly.' Lily muttered.

'Now look you can't run away from us.' Sirius said sauntering up to them.

'Oh, I think you'll find we just did.' Mia said.

Lily looked at Sirius and then at James, he was staring at her, Lily rolled her eyes to Mia.

'So will you dance with us?'

'No.' Mia said.

'You'll regret it.'

'I won't.'

'Last chance.'

'No.'

'Please, you'll make my evening.'

Mia laughed at this and turned her back on them looking at Lily, who was sipping her drink.

'You'd think they would get the hint.' She said to Lily who burst out into laughter.

James looked at the way she was laughing, she was gorgeous, as though life had been flushed into her cheeks.

'Mia, Lily, this is Patrick.' Cassie said walking over to them.

'We know who he is.' Lily said.

'Just being polite, getting a drink and then off to dance.' She said happily getting a drink, and Patrick pulled her onto the dance floor.

'She looks happy.' Mia said.

'Right, we are not taking no for an answer.' Sirius said pulling Mia by her hand and leading her onto the dance floor, Lily looked at James awkwardly.

'Come.' He said as he took the goblet off Lily and swept her onto the dance floor, he pulled her into him, placing a hand on her bare back.

'Nice dress Evans, surprised that you would wear something that revealing.'

'Trust me that was Mia's idea, and her dress.'

'How do you tell the difference between them?'

'Magic.' Lily said simply.

'You lot are rather mysterious, you know that?'

'I don't make a habit of gossip.'

James looked down at her, she looked at him, with his dark messy hair, his chocolate brown eyes behind his glasses.

'You're one of a kind.'

'Yep.'

'You know you are also very pretty, you know that?'

'Don't get used to it.'

'You mean you like being that other person?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'It's complicated, and something I wish not to discuss with you Potter.' Lily said pulling away from him, she walked away from him, wanting to go back to the common room, she walked out onto the balcony, James followed her and stood in the shadows.

'I love you mummy, and I am sorry if I've failed you. I am so worried about Mia, and I need Chris.' She whispered to no one in particular, she cried into her arms.

'Mia is coming.' Cass said coming out onto the balcony and hugging Lily. 'You'll be alright.'

'How much longer till I will be alright?' she asked her friend.

'When you move on, and put things behind you, you know I can't do much more, I am not permitted to.'

Lily nodded Mia came out and hugged her.

'Shall we go?' Cassie asked.

'No, you go, Mia is here.' Lily said.

Cassie smiled at them, she ran off to find Patrick, whilst Mia put an arm round Lily.

'Come on Lils, we have to stop this, you can't dwell in the past.'

'I can't help it, you don't understand.'

Mia looked at Lily, she saw the sadness in her eyes, and knew it was only a matter of time before Lily was going to crack.

'I wish he was here.' she whispered into the silence.

'Who?' Mia asked.

'Both of them.'

* * *

Author's Note

What did you think? I hope you like it a little. Please review, not too many harsh flames, but if you have any ideas as to what you would like in there, then please tell me. Would love any ideas, thoughts...you get it!

Firequartz


	4. Good News

**Author's Note**

I know you will hate me and would want to kill me as I haven't updated in ages! Please forgive me, I had to deal with two freinds dying in the same week, and then my internet broke down, and then I had a writer's block and now I am updating! I am currently living in Florence, most beautiful city, anyone who has been will understand.

**Disclaimer **I do not own Harry Potter, it all belongs to JK Rowling. Its a sad but true fact. Anything you don't recognise belongs to me!!

* * *

Chapter 4 – Good News

James stood there on the balcony, watching Lily hold onto Mia, she depended on them badly, she looked so vulnerable, how he wanted to be the one to hold her and comfort her.

'Well one is here, and the other is never going to be here, you have to get over this, I know it is hard, believe me.'

'I know, but you know how Snape would react.'

'Yeah but he hasn't exactly been keeping a clean record has he? Calling you a Mudblood last year.'

'He didn't mean it.'

'So easy to forgive, then why can't you forgive him?'

'I don't know.' Lily whispered.

'Well perhaps you need to sort yourself out, you are staying with us this Easter.'

'My father…'

'Won't give a damn, and just say you are staying here, how is he going to find out?'

'But what about Petunia's wedding?'

'What about it? To be honest Lily, she won't even notice if your not there, nor will your father.'

'I suppose, but won't your parents mind?'

'No, they would want you to come and stay.'

Lily threw her arms round Mia's neck and hugged her.

'You two are the best friends ever.'

'It's okay Lils we know you'd do the same for us.'

Lily smiled at her friend; Mia wiped her tears off her, and then tickled her.

'Ouch.' Lily said. 'You and Cass have terrible memories.'

'Don't you start.'

'You okay though, I mean with everything?' Lily asked.

'Yeah we all know it is going to happen, just I am worried about Cass.'

'I'll look after her.' Lily said. 'And I think it will turn out okay, you'll be fine.'

'I know, but just the thought.' Mia said. Lily put an arm round her and they walked back into the Great Hall.

'Perhaps we should start enjoying ourselves a little more.' Mia nodded.

* * *

Lily woke the next day wondering why all the beds had been pushed together, she was in the middle, she looked and saw the twins either side, Cassie was awake.

'Morning.' She said.

'Why are the beds like this?'

'You had a nightmare, and Mia spent the night trying to calm you.'

Lily shivered as she remembered her nightmare; Cass and Mia knew what it was most likely to be about.

Lily snuggled up to Mia and Cassie, Mia woke up when Lily placed an arm on her.

'Morning.' She said.

'You feeling okay?' Cassie asked.

'You know, actually I've feel better than I have been in three years.'

Lily and Cassie smiled as Mia said this.

'Does this mean you could be getting better?' Lily asked.

'I think it is early days, and you would have to go to St Mungo's first, before we can tell.' Cassie said.

'I hope you are…' Lily said.

'Don't we all?' Cassie asked Lily smiled as they looked at Mia, who was smiling back at her.

'I'm hungry; shall I grab some food from breakfast and bring it up?' Lily asked the twins.

'Yeah thanks Lily.'

Lily bounded off the bed, not even bothering to put a dressing gown or slippers on and ran down the stairs, only picking her wand up on the way.

'Evans?' Potter asked as she ran into him, the rest of the Marauders were behind him, they were clearly going down to breakfast as well.

'Morning.' She said happily, her hair still in the same state as the night before, Hannah had charmed her make-up on, and Lily hadn't taken it off, she looked stunning, even though she was wearing her pyjamas.

'What has got into you this morning?' Peter asked as Lily smiled at them.

'Um…it's Sunday?' she shrugged and continued to run down the corridor, when she ran into another person.

'Dear Lord…Lily?' a boy named Roger asked her, he was in the seventh year, tall, dark and rather handsome, also he happened to be the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain.

'Oh, I am so sorry.' She said looking up at him.

'Not a problem.' He said looking back at her, she smiled and heard the Marauders coming up behind her.

'I'll see you around.' He said winking at her; Lily smiled and walked down the stairs, trying not to bump into anyone.

'You look strangely different.' Snape said walking into the Entrance Hall out of the corridor which lead to Slytherin house.

'Oh my god, Mia…she is getting better!' Lily cried not caring who heard, they wouldn't understand.

'Lily, oh Merlin I am so happy.' He shouted back as Lily ran up to hug him, he spun her round.

'So I'm just getting some food for them, she needs to rest, otherwise she might…'

'She is strong, I am so happy.'

Lily beamed at him, and then walked into the Great Hall, people looked at her as she was wearing her pyjamas, she grabbed some food, and placing it on a tray which she conjured.

'Evans, I need to talk to you sometime.' James said as she walked past, she stopped and turned.

'Why do you want to talk to me?' she asked him.

'I need to tell you a few things.'

'Fine, see you later.' She said not really smiling at him, Sirius looked up at her, his dark hair falling into his eyes, he winked at her, and she rolled her eyes at him she walked away.

* * *

Lily sat alone one weekend, Mia had gone to St Mungo's and Cassie had gone with her. Lily hadn't minded, she had spread all her work out, but now it was all nearly done, she looked up and saw James staring at her, he looked away quickly, he hadn't found the right time to talk to her.

The portrait hole opened and two figures entered, Lily sat up rubbing her eyes and saw her best friends walk in, she stood up looking at them.

'Well?' Lily shouted at them.

'All cleared.' Mia said.

Lily ran to Mia and hugged her, crying with happiness as her friend was well again.

'Merlin Lily, you need to calm down.' Cassie said.

'I know, so this means that you are okay?'

'No she said it all for fun.'

James was watching them with interest, what were they talking about, the other weekend at the ball, she had said she was worried about Mia, could this be good news?

'There is a slight chance that it could return.'

'So no going for runs, and excessive dieting, and so on?' Lily asked.

'You don't need to diet and exercise, you're a bean pole.

'Whatever, I have so put on weight; I maintain it is that potion that witch gives me.' Lily said.

'Since when have you cared about your appearance?' Cassie asked her.

'Mia said to start looking after myself.'

Cassie snorted at Lily and then burst into laughter; Lily looked at her, her own arms crossed.

'Sorry, just you have never looked after yourself.'

'I resent that, I…' Lily said.

'Well you haven't, you looked awful for the last five years.'

'And you wonder why?'

'Lily, Cass stop.' Mia said holding her hands up trying to break the argument up, which people were now listening to.

'She bloody well started it.' Lily said looking at Cassie, she shook her head and went out of the portrait hole.

'You bloody well went and ruined it didn't you? She was about to get everything together, she was actually happy.' Mia rounded on her sister 'we had nearly succeeded, we nearly had proved to her we could make her happy again, and you…'

'It isn't just my fault; she took it the wrong way.'

'I know.' Mia said looking at her sister and then gave her a weak smile.

'I'm hungry.' Sirius announced to the common room, earning a few girls to giggle, Mia rolled her eyes and they went out of the portrait hole to find Lily.

'You know she is getting better I think.'

'Mia, you are the one who was ill.'

'Illness doesn't always have to be medical, we both know that, I mean look at what it has done to Lily?'

'True, true where has she gone?' Cassie said looking around desperately at people walking along the corridors.

'You know she may have gone to see Snape.' Remus said from behind them making the twins jump.

'Where you lot eavesdropping?'

'I would say that was a little unfair, you weren't exactly talking quietly.'

'You know what I think you should just leave us alone.' Cassie said waving a hand at them, but Remus caught it.

'We know more than you think, Cassandra.'

Cassie looked at him, no one except Lily knew them apart, and Cassie snatched her hand away from him, looking at him.

'Cass, Lily is in trouble.' Mia said as the two of them ran down the stairs to the corridor where the Slytherins were.

'You see? This is what happens Sev, when a Mudblood comes down here, surely you would know that?' a cold woman's voice sneered.

'Bella, she was lost let her go.'

'Shit.' Mia whispered as they saw many Slytherins crowded round, they saw Lily standing there, held by two Slytherins.

'You pretend to have so many problems, your mother, your father, and this boy Chris? When will you grow up and realise it happened for a reason.'

'You bastard.' Lily swore at Snape 'I trusted you.' she screamed, making the Marauders change course and come up behind the twins.

'Lily I never…'

'Shut up, I fucking trusted you, I hate you.'

'So how is your father Lily? How are you coping being at home when Chris…'

'Don't you even dare talk to me about him, you bitch, and you have no idea what you are saying.' Lily said struggling against the two Slytherins.

'You think that those twins will save you now? Magic isn't always the solution Evans.'

'Lily I never told her.' Snape pleaded with her.

'How else did she find out? I have been with Mia and Cassie all the time, and I know they haven't said anything.'

Mia had enough, she swept into the corridor, and Lily turned and saw her.

'NO! You just stay out of this.' She pleaded with her, she was just getting better.

'Just to say Bella, that it isn't such a wise idea to duel with a prefect seeing one which is particularly good at Charms.'

'You know you'd better be careful, your magic won't help you, you are dying, I know all about you, and trust me you don't stand a chance.'

'Bloody hell.' Lily said looking at the Marauders.

'Cous how is it hanging?' Sirius said bounding into the throng of Slytherins, he saw his brother 'Little bro, I love this place, now if you don't mind I would like to point out that there are more of you than there of us, so it would be unwise to start duelling as we both know who'd get expelled first.'

James slid up behind Lily; he pulled her free of the two Slytherins, and pulled her away, into another corridor, so she couldn't hear them.

'I trusted him.' she whispered as James crouched next to her as she slid down the wall. 'He betrayed me.' She said looking up at James, silent tears slid slowly down her cheeks, James brushed them away, he pulled her into a hug, and she buried her face into him, her hands holding his arms, wishing it wasn't this way.

After a while James (reluctantly) pulled her away, and looked at her, she had stopped crying, she now looked ashamed.

'Sorry.' She muttered getting up James got up as well.

'Anytime.' He whispered into her ear as he hugged her.

Lily quickly walked away from him, leaving James to realise that she needed his help more than anything.

* * *

**Author's Note **

So how much did you hate/like it? I'm sorry it's so short, and I promise to update again very soon, it is easier here as I have internet connection.

Please review, and no harsh flames, constructive comments are very much welcomed.

So the more reviews, the more likely I will update!

Firequartz


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**

So I realised that I haven't updated in a two years! Shit! Sorry for the language, I shall explain, I moved back to London after Florence, then I got engaged...I was only nineteen, and then I broke it all off about a year ago, so I couldn't deal with love stories, or anything to do with love. It made me feel REALLY crap, so I didn't write anything.

Then I went to Australia after Christmas, for about three months to see friends and family, and only recently, I have actually begun to write. Oh and then at the end of May I started a company, so been a busy bee!

You'll be pleased to hear that I have written at least three more chapters after this one, so I will try to update quicker, I know I've said that in the past but I will this time!

Oh and please check out my new story You Belong with Me...I am going to be updating most of my stories more and more!

**Disclaimer** I am not JK Rowling, one day I might be like her, but I will never be her...massive sigh!

* * *

Chapter 5 – Friends and Dreams

Weeks had flown by, the Easter holidays were drawing closer, and Lily had been rather distant with everyone, including the twins. She hadn't spoken to Snape since that evening, she felt sick at the thought of it.

James sat down next to Lily at breakfast one morning; she looked at him with a curious expression as if to ask why he was there.

'You think you can hide from us forever?' he asked.

'Why do you care?'

'Because you're my friend.'

'Funny, because I thought you hated me.'

James smiled at her, Lily had once again resumed her normal hairstyle and of course she was hiding behind her hair.

'I never hated you.'

'Yeah right.' Lily said looking back at her paper.

'If I did hate you, then why did I help you the other day and take you away from the Slytherins?'

'Perhaps you wanted to get at Snape?'

James shook his head.

'Why did you help me then?' she asked looking up from her paper at James.

'Because I want to be your friend.'

Lily stared at him not moving and no expression on her face and then she suddenly laughed aloud.

'What?'

'It's just that why would James Potter be interested in the class nerd? The bookworm, someone, by your standard, has no fun, and always works, and isn't pretty and will on no account sleep with you?'

James laughed as well.

'Evans, you make me laugh. I just think you need a helping hand.'

'And you don't think I already have that?'

'No, I just think you are a person I'd like to consider a friend.'

Lily looked at him and then returned her gaze to her paper.

'I am not hiding from anyone, Mia and Cassie aren't here, and so I have been working in the library, doing my usual geek-nonsense.' Lily said smiling, but not taking her eyes from her paper.

'Where are they?' James asked looking around and realising he hadn't seen them for a while.

'I can't really tell you that.' She said quickly.

Later on at dinner, Lily sat at the table, soon to be surrounded by the Marauders.

Lily didn't notice Mia and Cassie entering the Great Hall as she was gaping at what Sirius had just said.

'She was the worst pull I've ever had, which was enough not to have sex with her.'

Lily looked up when she saw people walking by and saw Mia and Cassie walking towards her, she could tell by their faces, it wasn't good.

'Oh no.' she gasped making everyone near her look at her and then at the twins, she got up and ran to hug them.

'It hasn't gone, it may still kill…'

'No we'll find a way.' Lily said sternly. James looked at Lily, she saw he was worried as he looked away; she sat down next to him, the twins sat down around her.

'On a brighter note, I copied the notes for you two and it wasn't too hard.'

Cassie snorted 'Nothing is hard for you.'

'Shut up.'

'I am; Pat is beckoning for me to go over, see you later.'

'She isn't coping, you will look after her?' Mia asked as Cassie had gone.

'I will, but it will all be fine.'

Lily took her friends hand in her right one and tried to comfort her across the table.

To her immense surprise, she felt another hand on her left hand, which was lying on her lap. Lily looked at James, who she could have sworn that he smiled at her out of the corner of his mouth.

'So do you think she is worth sleeping with, if she can't kiss?' Sirius pressed on.

Lily rolled her eyes and squeezed James's hand, he squeezed back as if to apologise for Sirius.

'You haven't spoken to Snape whilst we've been away?'

'Why would I talk to him?' Lily asked her body stiffening.

'No reason, just wanted to know why he did it.'

'Me too.'

James held her hand tighter, Lily didn't move, she knew James's always used to ask her out, but it was only to make fun out of her, so was this perhaps another joke? Although he had been quite sincere about being friends, but more than that, she shuddered when she thought about Chris.

'What is wrong?' Mia asked she was watching Lily closely.

'Nothing.' She looked up and saw Snape looking at her, she took her hand away from James and stood up, but Snape had got up too. Unfortunately for Lily, she hadn't seen this, but Mia and the Marauders had.

'Can I just explain something to you?' Snape asked grabbing her arm; she cried out in pain, he pulled her into a small corridor of the Entrance Hall.

'There is nothing to explain, you told people I despise the most my deepest secrets, so just leave me alone, please.' Lily said pulling her arm out from his grip, but he just pushed her against the wall.

'I never did it. You have to believe me, I never told her.'

Lily was scared, she was trapped, and he was corning her, he knew she couldn't cope with that. Tears poured down her face, she was shaking, and her sobbing was quite loud.

'Leave her alone.' A girl's voice cried from behind Snape. He turned to see a girl with brown hair and eyes, fuming at Snape.

Lily knew she was in Hufflepuff in her year, and was going out with the Quidditch captain, Frank Longbottom.

'Alice?' Lily asked as Alice came over and pulled her away from Snape.

'It's okay.' Alice soothed as she saw Mia, Cassie and the Marauders coming over.

'Thank you.' Lily said to Alice; known for her popularity, and her stunning figure.

'No problem, I'll see you around, seeing as Cassie is going out with Frank's best friend, see you Lily.' She said walking off and waving at her as the twins and the Marauders came over to her.

'How come our bookworm can get Alice to talk to her?' Sirius asked.

Lily wasn't listening, Snape had emerged from the corridor, she looked at him, she actually felt sick, and she looked back at the twins.

Cassie took Lily and grabbed her twin and forced them through the doors leading to the grounds, to sit under their favourite tree by the lake.

'So I take it you and Snape won't be talking for a while?' Cassie asked as they looked out at the lake.

'You think?' Lily said.

'More importantly, what about you and Potter?' Cassie asked.

'Me and Potter?' Lily looked aghast 'you think something is going on between us?'

'Well he was quite concerned when he saw Snape walking up towards you.'

Lily laughed at her two friends.

'Honestly you two are crazy, I don't like him. He is a show-off, a bully and he…'

'I hope you weren't talking about us?' a familiar voice said from behind them.

'She was talking about someone else.' Mia said covering up for her friend.

The Marauders sat down next to the girls under the tree, the girls had about to continue talking, but stopped when they had sat down next to them.

'What are you sitting here?' Mia asked.

'Aren't we allowed?' Sirius asked.

'Let me re-phrase it, why are you sitting next to us? We are the most un-popular people in the school, and why waste your time?' Cassie said before Mia could say anything.

'Well perhaps we have seen the light and actually our time is wasted because we haven't been spending it with you.' James said looking mainly at Lily.

Lily on the hand was looking at the grass not paying attention to the conversation.

'Right.' Cassie said 'Oh there's Pat, I'll see you two later.' She said running off to Pat who had finished breakfast and was to enjoy the weekend with Cassie.

'You know she thinks Pat will save her, when I…'

Lily snapped out of her daze and hit Mia playfully round the head.

'Ouch.'

'Then don't talk like that.' Lily said rubbing her arm which she had hit Mia with.

'Yeah sure.' Mia said looking at Lily.

'Are you going to explain?' Peter asked.

'Nope.' Mia said lying back on the ground and watching the clouds in the blue sky, as the sun shone a spring warmth on the ground.

'This is why we don't hang round with them, they never tell us anything.' Sirius whined.

'Sure, how about the fact we have helped them?' James said.

Lily rolled her eyes at them.

'Miss Evans, I think you and Miss Thayton ought to explain yourselves.'

'Mia thinks that Pat will save Cassie when Mia dies.' Lily said.

'And why would Mia die?' Remus asked.

'When I've killed her?'

'Why would you kill her?'

'Why do you lot hex people and play pranks?'

'She got us there.' Sirius said.

Lily smiled as Mia laughed, they both knew that the Marauders wouldn't really understand, but James knew better.

Lily and Mia spent the day being harassed by the four boys, try as they might, they couldn't get rid of them, until Cassie came at dinner time, complaining that she was very hungry.

'What happened to lunch?' Mia asked 'on second thoughts I don't want to know.'

Cassie smiled in a mysterious way looking at her plate.

'Yeah I think she was having too much fun.' Mia said.

Lily wasn't listening, she was reading her book, and Cassie was listening to James and Remus, talking quietly a little along from them, but she heard Lily's name, Mia heard it too.

'…Lily. Why are you so keen to help her?' Remus asked.

'You heard and saw her, she needs help.'

'Have you ever considered that she may not need help? Perhaps you should just leave her alone.'

'I want to help her, you know I've always liked her, and don't tell Padfoot, you know he'll make everything worse. Well perhaps instead of helping myself, what if I need to help her?'

'And what do you want in return?'

'Just to be her friend.'

'And if she doesn't like you, in the same way you'd want, then you could cope with that?'

James thought for a moment 'I think I could.'

Remus smiled and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

'Just don't rush or hurt her, you'll have to go slow.'

'It will be worth the wait.'

Lily looked up from her book, and saw James looking at her, he gave her a warm smile, and she looked at Mia and Cassie who gave her, a similar smile to James's. Though this wasn't to bother her, when she fell asleep that night her brain was in turmoil and she fell asleep lost in painful memories.

_*Dream*_

_Lily was sitting on the stairs in her house, waiting to talk to her mother, who was on the phone._

_Her sister was out with her friends, and her father was at work._

'_Lily?' her mother called. _

_Lily got up and walked into the room, her mother was lying on the sofa, her beautiful loose-curled red hair framed her head, her green eyes shone with emotions that Lily couldn't comprehend. _

'_Yes mummy.' She answered. _

'_I just want you to know, that no matter how different you are from your sister, won't change the way your father and I love you.' _

_Lily smiled at her mother. _

'_You are beautiful, more beautiful than I was at your age.' _

_Her mother kissed Lily on her forehead and they shared a cuddled before her mother told Lily to finish her holiday work, so she could enjoy the Christmas holidays before she returned to Hogwarts. _

_Lily walked down the stairs to the drawing room, a little while later, to ask her mother a question, she opened the door and froze…_

_*End of Dream*_

'Lils, wake up.' Cassie cried shaking Lily.

Lily sat up, a dim early morning light shone in through the window and she saw she had woken her friends up, her duvet was twisted around her, she was covered in swear, and tears were streaming down her face.

'We'd better take you downstairs, before Hannah wakes up.' Cassie said helping Lily out of the bed.

They crept downstairs, and Lily collapsed on the sofa and sobbing into it.

'What did you dream about?'

'My mother, look Mia you'd better go to bed.' Lily said pushing Mia away. 'I'll be fine I just need to be alone for a bit, thank you anyway.' She said to the twins.

'Okay, you know where we are.' Mia said hugging her friend, as did Cassie, they walked back to their dorm, Lily sat on the sofa sobbing hard into the sofa cushion.

James, Sirius and Peter carried Remus back up to the hospital wing, under the cloak; they placed him in his bed, and hurried out and back up to their common room, tonight had been bad. James and Sirius were covered in blood, Peter was always instructed to stay in safe places, Remus or the other two could easily trample him.

They entered the common room, and were halfway across when they saw Mia and Cassie half carrying Lily down the stairs, they stopped and saw Lily on the sofa, her friends walking away, but they stopped at the stairs and looked back at her.

'One day I'll…' Cassie started to say.

'You can't do anything for her; I'd better go to bed.'

'Yeah I know, but I worry about the both of you.'

Mia smiled and they walked back up to their dorm.

James looked at the girl lying on the sofa; he saw her hair was soft and silky, like it had been at the ball.

'We'll see you later.' Sirius whispered as he threw the cloak off James, he and Peter went to bed, and James came over to Lily.

Lily looked up as he crouched down, she screamed, but James had been ready for this and covered her mouth.

'What in the world has happened to you?' she asked looking at the state of him.

'Sirius, Peter and I went for a walk in the forest, perhaps not the best idea we've had.' James said.

Lily nodded in agreement, but there had been a small flicker of a smile.

'What's wrong with you?' he asked.

'Bad dream.' She said quickly.

James lifted his hand gently to her face and wiped her tears away, he smiled at her, he got up but Lily grabbed his wrist.

'What?' he asked turning to look at the red head who had sat up looking at him.

'Thank you.' she said.

'For what?'

'Making sure I was okay, you've changed somehow, and normally you would have ignored or made fun of me.' Lily said. James winced at the thought of the times he had done that, he unclasped Lily's wrist gently and came to lie next to her, pulling a blanket he'd conjured over them.

'I think perhaps I've realised there are more important things in life at the moment.' James said.

'Like what?'

'Friends, family and Voldemort.'

Lily was silent, she knew his parents were Aurors and he was always worried about them, but he hardly spoke about it, she only knew this because of Remus who had told Cassie once, she moved closer to him, and took his hand, like he had done earlier that day for comfort.

'You don't have to stay with me.' Lily whispered after a while.

'I want to; at least I can be here if you have a nightmare.'

'I won't be having one again.' Lily said almost half joking.

James moved to get comfortable, but he gasped as his shirt rubbed his cut.

'What is it?' Lily asked.

'Nothing.' James said taking his shirt off and lying back down to face Lily, her eyes were half open, almost in sleep. James watched her, and when she had fallen asleep James kissed her on her forehead and turned over.

Lily opened her eyes, she knew he had kissed her on her forehead, but at that precise moment she saw the shape of the marks on his back, there were as though he'd been attacked by a lion, and she saw older marks on his back, she touched it lightly.

'It seems we are both keeping secrets.' Lily whispered as she cuddled up to James. He had smiled when she had done this, both thinking that the other was asleep, a little while later, Lily had placed her arm round him, for comfort, and James had entwined his legs with hers.

* * *

**Author's Note **

So I hope you like it, more to come.

You know what to do, you hit the link that say's review chapter, and then write a little review, and please no harsh flames...constructive criticism is always welcome...

Hope you like this chapter, coming up in the next chapter; Lily and James fall out, an accident occurs and Lily wonders if she has started to acquire feelings for a certain James Potter.


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